bir şey

yaralı tırnağımda yürüyen kan gibisin,

biliyorum etimden çıkacağını

ve yavaş yavaş izliyorum ismim kadar aklımda gidişini..

isminin.

LAST SURVIVOR

LAST SURVIVOR

1273 April

If you are reading this message right now, you are either an unfortunate survivor like I was, your whereabouts unknown to absolutely no one, or you are an explorer who luckily found this diary while on an adventure.

So… After this time both of us… If you are reading this right now, then both of us Two of us… We know that you are on the island!

If you are on this island my brother, then you have to know some things in order to stay alive, I mean; in order not to die… Well, I am pretty sure that you are deeply wondering what I am talking about. I am talking about the mosquitoes and their poisonous stings. I am talking about the snakes, spiders, scorpions and other repulsive bugs that infest this island.

You must protect yourself from these damn creatures! Whatever you do it`s not important. The thing which is important: You must believe this: One touch from these creatures is enough to kill you, make you a dead man. Believe me man. They are fatal, and there is only one way to protect yourself from these varmints that I know of, and it is to lather yourself in mud…every square inch of your skin. The mud repels the creatures and you will remain safe.. You might wonder how I know this?! I don’t know why but it works and braces you for my answer. How did I get these answers? Are you ready to the answer? Today is my 1000th day on this island. I was never a madman before I was displaced here; I was never crazy before this beginning, I was not madman or crazy until this beginning. I will tell you my story…

So yes, exactly today is my 1000th day. After 5 sunsets and sunrises I began to mark each day on a tree, and my marks kept growing and growing, until there was a millennium of kicks in some wood. In the beginning I was not alone. I and five others survived the ship wreck. There were only four of us after 900 days. One of us died from Malaria: If you know what it means Malaria, you know why you have to protect yourself as well...

We prepared a funeral for him, and burned his body, poured his ashes into the Ocean. If we didn’t do like this, result wouldn’t change, because it is possible when somebody came here even though they may not find piece your ashes…
Anyways, I will continue in any case. Don’t stop me bro, and the things that I can see which is called by you as a bunch of memory…

At the beginning, we set up the most efficient camp that we could right here on the beach; you know, it was hot and hot was good. Those first few days it looked like we were on a vacation on a never touched before piece of heaven on Earth. But then the rain came, and we were forced to seek refuge in a little cave at the end of this shoreline. Our cave was little –just for certificated pygmy worms- but it was still hot and peaceful. However, fortunately, one of was a gourmet chef. He cooked for all of us and I must admit before I die that those meals were better than even my wife’s meals.

We had split up our missions All of us took on different tasks on this island to stay alive; I fished, it was natural for one of us to cut wood and make the fire, and one of us was responsible for hunting buck and sheep. If you have not seen it yet, you will not be able to believe your eyes when you see how many domestic animals there are on this island!

So to speak, two of us went up the mountain to watch for ships or some form of rescue. We would burn as big of a camp fire as we could in case our fire would be noticed by a passing plane or ship, but after one year we lost hope as there because there was no sign from the ships we waited, never one sign of humanity to be recognized. Absolutely no sign of civilization…

You could water in easily if you turn your direction to the forest.. You could eat fresh vegetables and fruits. But you have to know the bad conditions of the forest as well: Anytime you can meet the wild animals which are snakes, spiders, scorpions, and maybe much more. More than much more… They should want sleep with hugging you. If you want to go to the mountain summit, you can find mountain goats. Also you can see -if you are lucky, -could you remember what does it mean?- Because we couldn’t meet yet- I mean: to the ships and you can get out of the island sure on those...

Oh my brother. Just after a year we began to realize that we may never return to our real lives that we had once upon a time. But it was not well enough to prevent finding life strength… We did not admit it to brake our chains which hold our faith`s and believe` together. Whenever if your brain calls the hopeless which in the watch, think the things which hold you on your toes… Instead of losing ourselves in pain and despair -despite being lost survivors- we made a decision to split up our ways; there were three areas which are useful; on the beach, in the forest, on the mountain. These places have different features; if you want to stay on the beach you can fishing and stay at the hot place during day and night without bugs without mug. But if you choose stay at the beach you have to walk fifteen kilometers to the nearest drinkable water source. If you go to the forest, you can find water in easily. You can eat fresh vegetables and fruits. But also you have to know the bad conditions of the forest: Anytime you can meet the wild animals which are snakes, spiders, scorpions, and maybe much more. If they find you as a handsome they should want sleep with hugging you. For another choice, you could want to go to the mountain summit, you might find mountain goats. Also you may see –we should say if you are lucky, because we couldn’t meet- the ships and you would able to get out of that hospitable island.

But if you ask me –and it would have been best thing if I were you that what exactly I did- My advice would have been to you that stay on the beach; it’s safe and warm. What have we been known? Hot was good. So, what does a man want much more in such that island except beer? What does a man want more on a stranded island than beer? Oh dear God! How I wish this island had beer. Long time you will miss to see yellow things in your dreams. I mean beautiful blond girls and beers. You see this beach is a proof you cannot find every time all of them together. Cold Beer- Hot Sand – Naughty Blonds… But don’t worry man when you pee you forget all of them. Yellow is yellow ha?

Finally, if you want a little advice from this tired old guy who has related with that island to his bone: He advises you also to think of the animals on this island as your friends, your companions. Find for you bucks, mountain goats, parrots, and monkey and tame them and speak with them, so with that way you may forget your loneliness… The bucks, mountain goats, parrots, monkeys, these animals will all speak to you if you listen very closely. This will help you. It will ease your loneliness. Trust me. I had done… like this…

Don’t lose your hope…never…don’t lose your strength…because there is no such thing on this island except for in your heart.

You will learn: What is the (biggest) worst lie that you have ever told?
You will learn: What is most important to you in this entire world?
You will think of everything that you have never thought of before…

I served you from death; I shall not begrudge a piece of smoke from you… Look at the roof, it is under the bed. Did you see? Here we go.. I think you saw.. Not the saw, behind of it. There is a lot of piece of tobacco, not the real tobacco, these are only some piece of leaf but you can fill out your lungs with the smoke even with these… That would be helping you about this situation. Did you see; you are not selfless as you think… You got your wish.

You will crash the gates of your brain! You will see yourself! Front of the windows of your skepticism... And what do you do with this? What will happen when you think? Maybe you will become a philosopher? But whatever you do you will never find one box of Marlboro. As much as you will gain, you will never find! Never! Can you imagine?

You must be hurting right now, but don’t curse me for it! This is real; it is real as your right hand... Ha ha ha!! Excuse me, that was only a little joke, I told you that I have gone somewhat crazy since I’ve been here. But this is my way of serving you from death. I have smoke for you brother, look over near the roof, it is under the bed. Do you see it?… I m wont hide from you a bunch of leaf. You must have found it now… A little piece of tobacco, not real tobaccos but these are only some leaves at least that you can burn and fill your lungs with. This will able to help you right now. You are not selfless as much as you think about yourself… Some wishes you will receive. In fact already got it one of them.

But, I’m sorry. My time is done, my wizards as well. I wish that I could have done more with my life. As I said `But` we must look to whatever bright side that we can find: We don’t have to get haircuts, we will never have to get up and labor at work another day in our lives. Imagine the wife in your ear, “Get up you bastard! Get ready for work! You’re late!” Remember this? I know… I know these are too good to be true. But don`t worry! This is the just one gift which is the island gave to you. Do not wait another one. It’s all over now.

Finally, be strong. Keep your eyes open, because as you will see, this island is not according to the beginners. Take your notes come to class of advance.
In the end, After I die on this island, all the tomorrows will be like all the yesterdays for the last two thousand years. Nothing will change.
The world dismissed me and now I -must- dismiss you…

Good-Bye…

1273 April

Serdar O., the last survivor on the island.

A wrinkly old man named Serdar stands up and puts his diary back into his bag which is next to tobacco leafs on the roof. And he walks slowly to the shore to step on a ship that took 6 years to rescue him, last survivor, a big smooth smile on his old face…

author: eksik günlük
pic: http://jujika.deviantart.com/art/Ship-18038322

CDS Danışmanlık

Selam. Ben Eksik Günlük. Bundan tam 495 gün önce hep tutkunu olduğum alanda kendimi geliştirmek, yaratıcı yazarlık üzerinde eğitim almak üzere Amerika ya da Kanada`ya gitmek istedim. Evet, istedim bunu. Bilinen fuarlara gittim ve masaların birçoğuyla oturup konuştum. Bu zaman içerisinde 26 yıllık profesyonel İstanbullu olduğum halde taksim ve Beşiktaş ta hala bilmediğim yerler olduğunu öğrendim. Ve bu yerlerdeki yurt dışı danışmanlık şirketlerini. O şirketlerin her birinden çıkışımda isimlerinin neden yurt dışı danışmalık şirketi olduğunu daha iyi anlayabiliyordum ve kendi kendime, `Herhalde,` dedim, `Danışmanlık veren kısımları yurt dışında bunlar sadece nasıl orda olduklarını anlayamadığım çok başarılı hologramları!` Komik mi? Elbette değil. Hava inanılmaz sıcaktı ve ben çaresizdim… Çaresiz ve yalnız… Ta ki… Ta ki o gelene kadar… Noluyo ya!

Taksimdeki bir yurt dışı danışmalık şirketine daha gittim. Taksimdi ve danışmanlık şirketi `danışmalık` çıkmasa bile çıkıp bir iki ıslak hamburger yiyebilir, sokaklarında ileride olacağım büyük yazarlık sonrası kitaplarımı imzalatmak için gelecek güzel kızların hayalini kurabilirdim. Evet, yapabilirdim bunu. Bunun verdiği rahatlıkla 129T’nin akbiline acımadan bastım… Gideceğim danışmanlık şirketinin adresine bakıyordum hamburgerciden çıkarken: Galatasaray Lisesinin karsısı, CDS Danışmanlık. Bir danışmanlık şirketi bir diğerini önermişti. Sadece bunun için bile gidilebilinirdi. `Bunlarla bir görüsün isterseniz. Kanada konusunda oldukça deneyimli ve iyilerdir`. Neden denemeyeyimdi ki? Evet, belki biraz abartıyorum ama kapıdan içeri girer girmez `burası` dedim. Kısaca neyle karsılaştığımı anlatmak gerekirse; masaların üzerinde duran dağınık kâğıtlar, birilerine ait olduğu belli onlarca dosya, hemen az önce bir şeyler karalanmış olduğu ucundaki demirde hala ıslak duran mürekkepten anlaşılabilecek renk renk kalemler, birbirlerine kesinlikle nizami bakmayan misafir sandalyeleri… `Yaşıyor burası` dedim. Evet dedim bunu.

Oturduk konuştuk. Bana yardımcı olan danışman Meltem Hanim`di. Kendisi gerçekten çok yardımcı oldu, konuştuk karşılıklı, diğer danışmanlık şirketleriyle karsılaştırınca oldukça uzun. Ne istediğimi sordu,` yazmak istiyorum` dedim. Bilgilerimi istedi. Verdim. Üç hafta sonra vizem gelmişti. Su anda hala Kanada`dayım. Az önce hesapladım da 455 gün olmuş bu ilginç serüvenime başlayalı. Onların yardımıyla önce dil okuluna sonra da istediğim bölüme kaydımı yaptırdım. Kendileri benim açımdan o güne kadar alışık olmadığım bir rahatlıkla bana yardımcı oldular. Hayatimin bu önemli evresinde bana yaptıkları yardımlar için kendilerine buradan yeniden teşekkür etmek isterim. Evet, isterim bunu.

Niye mi isterim? Çünkü hava sıcaktı. Ve ben yalnızdım. Bi de ıslak hamburger yemekten bıktım ya. Hem bi şey diyim mi? Kanada çok güzel.
Ve Meltem Hanım, size yeniden çok Teşekkürler…

Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf: Lose your ego, find your compassion

Altyazisini cevirdigim bu videoyu asagidaki baglantiya tiklayarak izleyebilirsiniz.

Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf: Lose your ego, find your compassion - 27 Translation(s) | dotSUB

melek

melek

öyle zamanlar geçirelim ki meleğim,
ters düz edelim dünyayı
evler yansın, yıkılsın dağlar
yaz kışa dönsün.. kış ayaza
ayaklarımız havaya, sırtımız hep yere değsin.
çabuk incinirsin
bilirim..
aç koynunu serileyim üstüne
ki melegim,
sen hiç usumeyesin…

fotograf: eksik günlük

ah sevgilim,

"son karesi gibi red kit'in
batan güneşe doğru
sürerken atımı
'gitme kal' demeni bekliyorum
ama yalnızca
rüzgar çekiştiriyor atkımı.."

SUNAY AKIN

Çocuklar

Faşizmi çocuklar da anlayabilir
Dayak yemektir serseri bir babadan
Karanlık odaya kapatılmaktır
Hakkını istemekte direttiğin zaman

Üvey ana, yarı güleç öksüze
Sabunlu eliyle tokadı yapıştırır
Henüz yaslıdır çocuk henüz dayanıksızdır
Yıldırmaktır amaç esir etmektir
Çocuk faşizmi yanağında tanır

Onlar niçin böyle çirkin olurlar
Bir tek güzel faşist yaşamamıştır
Anlamlı sorulardır bunlar çocuklar size
Okullar bu dersi öğretmiyorlar

Nerde bir kuvvet birikmişse haksız
Nerde bir zartzurt ya da cartcurt
Nerde elimizden kapılmışsa ekmek
Sınıfta, sokakta, evde, çarşıda
İşte çocuklar faşizm ordadır

.....

ERGİN GÜNÇE